You Have to Fall Out of Place to Fall Into Fabulous

My So-Called Life

Last October, I was diagnosed with Colon Cancer. To me, this was a big deal, yet at the same time no different than the other things in life I have had to overcome. The only difference is that this time the adversity and the trial was bigger than I was. It made me realize a few things that I wanted to share with you.

If I hadn’t had all the other adversities in my life I hadn’t had all the other child’s I don’t think that I would have been able to handle my cancer diagnosis. Think about it if the first time you ever have any trial in your life the trial is cancer how would it affect you what would go on in your head What would life be like what would your world be like I think you would just be overwhelmed and you wouldn’t know how to overcome it and you wouldn’t know how to think positive you wouldn’t know how to face life with a smile because you know that in the end, the storm passes the clouds disappear the sun in the rain rows come out and you can smile once again

Sometimes life has to fall out of place. Sometimes life has to bring you down.  sometimes I feel like life has to smack you in the face or pull the rug out from underneath you for you to look around and go well what’s going on here what happened why am I in this situation? that’s at least how I look at things I don’t get freaked down anymore when the rug gets pulled out for me underneath me I might have a momentary lapse of reason but don’t we all have that to me that’s just being human what I’m talking about is true real ability to overcome and to face life head-on to see Life as a wonderful experience to see Life as a beautiful lesson until seeing Life as a wonderful gift because it is a gift that’s why it’s called the present

You have to fall out a place to fall into fabulous

You need to see that life has its adversities

You need to see that life has its trials

You need to see that you are not in control

And you need to see that someone else knows everything that you’ve been going through and is there for you and yes it is Heavenly Father but that’s not the only way I believe I believe in a higher power I believe in a Buddhist spiritualist oddly Mormon kind of belief I call myself a Buddhist Mormon because I believe in so many aspirations of the Buddhist world but yet I still call myself a Christian in the Mormon faith because I truly believe that with everything being Christ-centered a Mormon is just as much a Christian as anybody else

I take that spirituality with me wherever I go no matter which way I look at it I still look at it. Life gave me this trial adversity issue problem whatever it may be for a specific reason then I look at what are those reasons why am I going through this not why didn’t happen to me although this time with the cancer I did say why did this happen to me because I’ve been through so much I wondered what other lesson do I have to learn here what lesson do I need someone like me who’s over How much what would I need to actually go through this lesson what is this trying to teach me what I found out that it was trying to teach me was to receive and to allow and that goes to one of my acronyms that I learned in my mindfulness training I also wanted to share with you

Have you ever heard of the acronym called RAIN? R.A.I.N

The R stands for Recognize

We need to recognize what’s going on we need to be aware we need to be present we need to see life as it is we need to be in our body and recognize what’s going on in our Bonnie we need to be present  outside of our body and find out what’s going on our body and what’s coming outside of it how are people treating us how are we allowing people to treat us and how are we handling those situations how is the world treating us and how are we handling those situations as well it’s all about recognizing being aware being present

The A stands for Allow

We need to allow those things to happen in our lives I think far too many times we fight off I don’t want that that doesn’t suit me that doesn’t fit in my plan right now I’m sorry I can’t do this world I’m sorry I can’t do this life and so we were treat and we don’t allow we hold everything inside of our bodies inside our hearts inside our thoughts and we don’t tell people how we really feel we don’t talk openly about the hurt that they may be causing us or perhaps even the hurt that life might be causing us we need to openly allow these things and say this is happening I allow it I may not like it but it’s still going to happen either way this is what I feel about process we may hate process but it’s still going to happen the laundry still needs to get done the dishes still need to get done stuff still has to happen if you’re not going to do those laundry or do the dishes yet by something like by paper plates or whatever and so you don’t have to do the dishes that’s fine but now that becomes your process buying paper plates for every time you don’t want to do the dishes see if you look around you. It’s all about perspective I talked about this a lot lately because I truly see that it really is about perspective it’s how you look at things do you look at life with a sad heart angry mad at the world why are these things happening to you how come you can’t get out of these circumstances why does this happen over and over? these are questions that I want you to explore and I want you to ask their self and then you only you will be able to answer those questions

The I stands for Investigate

this is the time when we really investigate what’s going on in our lives this is the time that we ask those questions why did this happen not why did this happen to me but why did this happen we ask herself questions like what do I have to learn from this lesson how can I apply this to my life how can I change this or how can I transform because I don’t want this anymore how can I release myself of toxic people and toxic things ask yourself over and over again one question of the other you know the questions that your body and your mind wants to be answered allow and investigate those questions to happen and then answer them honestly real rough raw authentic and wholeheartedly

The last one is N for Non-Identify

This is where we step outside of ourselves this is like asking her friend hey this is what I’m going through what do you think of this this is like asking ourselves those questions and looking back and seeing it again from a different perspective if you were the friend talking to you what guidance would you give to that friend now take that ask yourself those questions and give the guidance to yourself that you would be giving a friend that’s not identifying stepping outside of yourself and seeing things in a different light.

This is all part of falling into fabulous. You see as I said before sometimes you need to fall apart before you can fall into fabulous you need to be destroyed before you can be remade you need to be distracted before you can be reborn and you need to fall down to the depths of the ashes sometimes until you can rise up and be the Phoenix The Fabulous Phoenix that you were all meant to be I’m not the only Phoenix in this world I never claim to me and I never will I just think to be a phoenix because I have risen From the Ashes I have risen from the world that has given me nothing but trial and tribulation since I was 8 years old and I’m now 47 so count them that’s a lot of years to have to go through trial tribulation adversity loss and all the other many things that I’ve learned to overcome

I often say I know you can do it because I’ve done it too I don’t mean that to sound trite I seriously mean that I honestly feel that if I can overcome these things if I can overcome depression if I can overcome anxiety if I can overcome rape and molestation if I can overcome homelessness by can overcome loss of the custody of my children if I can overcome loss of businesses and loss of money if I can overcome cancer you can 2

Did you hear me? I said if I can do it you can too!

So are you finally ready to rise are you ready to rise up and overcome those things and obstacles toxic relationships that are in your life? if you’re ready to rise up and you’re ready to change go over to my page called The Risen and come join me in our group and I will help you to rise by my book and work with me in my workbook and let’s rise up together and show the world how fabulous you can really be.

Take Your Eyes Off the Storm

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We often look at life like it is a thunderous, raging storm and can only see the clouds and rain upon us. We all know when the storms are over, the sun will shine and the rainbows and promises will come back out. So, if we know that, then why do we only see the clouds and gray skies when we are in the middle of the storm?

We need to shift our focus, change our perspective and in essence, take our eyes off the storm and look past the horizon to the beauty the awaits you. Once the storm is over, we rarely even remember what that fight was even about. Think about those fights you had with a spouse or a friend from years ago. do you really recall every detail about what is was about and do you even really care. Most likely not.  To that point, when you think about the storms in your life, you most likely won’t remember them and you won’t even remember how you made it through and how you survived it. You will look back in wonder and amazement more than anything else surprised that you are still standing where you are today.

Once out of the storm and onto the other side, if and when you look back, you won’t even recognize yourself. It is like looking back in a mirror that disfigures yourself. You won’t be the same person as when you walked through that storm. You will be a new you, a new character, with new values, with new faith in yourself and perhaps a higher being. You will be a whole, brand new you.

That is what the storm is all about. Growth. Change. Challenge. Character Building.

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Have you ever watched the trees in a storm?

How they sway to and fro? Sometimes their branches break and fall to the ground and sometimes leaves are scattered abroad, but how many trees do you notice are completely uprooted? I am not saying none, because, I have seen a few, but that is rare. Those ones maybe needed a complete “uprooting” , but in the most part, the storms make the trees dig deeper into the ground and take deeper roots and become stronger so they can withstand anything.

Plus, there are some things you never learn in life is life is all roses and sunshine. You must learn them in a storm.

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You build character. This teaches me how to resolve challenges during this time. I learn how to deal with conflict. I learn how to handle conflict resolution. I take stock during this time and take a deep, deep dive look within. I honestly don’t think many people can do this. I believe I am a quite rare individual who has the capacity to do this.

You learn to stand on your own two feet. Oft times this is where I find out who my friends are and who they aren’t. I learn what I can handle alone and what I can’t. I learn when I need to ask for help.

You build a testimony. I learn so much more about myself and the world during these times.

You build your faith. I’m not just talking about in a higher power here either. I am talking about faith in others, faith in yourselves.

You may realize a defining moment during this time in your life. Often this time in your life when things change, you pivot, you grow, you turn your life around. This is that one time,t hat “moment” that spun everything on a dime and your whole life changed. Maybe this is when you finally “woke up”.

You will grow. All of this comes down to the fact that you will grow. Science says we stop growing after adulthood. In size…yes. In everything else…we continue to grow in character, strength, values, nurture, nature, knowledge, acceptance, love, and the list goes on.

As I have said earlier and for those who know me, I face my storms head on. I don’t cower or hide under the covers. Do I want to? HELL YEAH. I get scared too. I actually don’t like conflict either but I learned a very long time ago that hiding gets me nowhere. I am still going to have to do that math problem I don’t want to do, or face that person who I don’t want to face, or deal with that trial I don’t want to deal with. I learned that if I am going to have to face it anyway, I might as well just get it over with.

When I started being the one to face my fears first and jumping into the lions den, I also learned I had the better advantage. I had the upper hand. I was prepared, I was ready to fight and I had all the tools I needed to do so. It didn’t mean the fight wasn’t hard, it still was hard, but in the end, one way or the other I came out victorious, even if I lost the fight, because I gained what it taught me!

Did you catch that?

EVEN IF I LOST THE FIGHT, I STILL WON BECAUSE I GAINED WHAT IT TAUGHT ME

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This is important for to share with you because I think that many people think that winning the battles are all about truly winning those battles and they are not. It is about what you learn about yourself going through those storms, going through those battles and how you come out on the other side.

You ARE fabulous!

You have always BEEN fabulous.

My message is more than the “You are enough” story. That message is great, but I want to share more than that. Yes you are enough. You already were enough. You were fabulous from the beginning. You were enough from the beginning. We all were.

However, ever a piece of metal is only a piece of metal until is is forged in fire and the master works it and then it becomes a beautiful blade of steel that become a magnificent sword for a knight to yield.

We must go through the storms of life to learn from these trials and to grow. We must look to the horizon and see the beauty that awaits us on the other side and know that we can get through these trials that we encounter and know that we can do it, we can face it together.

We will be strong.

We will be faithful.

We will overcome.

We will survivors.

We will be victorious.

We will be warriors for our future!

Xoxo,

Trisha Trixie

#BeFabulous

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Not a Tear Was Wasted

Have you cried many nights, in your turmoil, adversity and trials?

Have you wondered if all those tears were worth it?

Did the tears make anything better?

Do you wonder, if all those tears were wasted?

They were not.

Not a tear was wasted.

The Lord, heard every cry and he counted every tear.

Those tears were all consumed by the love of our Heavenly Father.

I cried many tears too.

I cried until I thought I was drowning in my tears.

I cried until thought there was no way I could cry anymore.

I cried in so much anguish asking, yearning, wishing, pleading, dear lord, why aren’t you answering me??

But you know what….?

He WAS answering me. In HIS way.

He was refining me.

He was building me up.

He was making me stronger.

He is making you stronger too.

I promise you, not a tear you cry is being wasted.

He hears your cries.

He knows why each of those drops is being cried.

Each of those tears has a purpose.

You may not see it now.

I understand.

I didn’t see it at first.

But I had faith.

I need you to have faith.

Faith in fabulous.

Those tears will set  you free.

Don’t be afraid to cry.

Let them roll.

Let’s them pour out of you.

They each have a purpose.

Their purpose is to make you fabulous.

More fabulous than you already are.

Fabulous tears for a fabulous you.

Painting Beauty in the Ashes

So you lost your home?

You lost your business?

You lost your children?

You lost your car?

You lived on the street?

You had your heart broke?

You have been abused?

Has your dignity been stolen?

Has your integrity been compromised?

Do you feel like everything is crumbling down around you?

Do you feel like your life is going up in flames?

 

Then let it.

Let the fires burn.

Let everything go.

Let the abusers try to tear you down.

Let them take your business.

Let them take your home.

Let them break your heart.

Let them take it all, ruin it all, demolish it…ALL.

The more the fires burn, the more you have a chance to make anew.

There were times in my life, I thought so much had been destroyed, that nothing else could be taken, and then something would happen, and more was taken to the point of no return, I really DID hit rock bottom. I looked at my life and saw nothing but ashes, soot, blackness, everything demolished.

And then, I saw things no one else could see…

I saw hope.

I saw faith.

I saw courage.

I saw determination.

I saw fearlessness.

I saw tolerance.

I saw perseverance.

I saw beauty in the ashes.

I became a Phoenix and you can too.

Trust in the process.

We all fall down.

Falling is NOT a bad thing.

Falling allows us the chance to look up.

Allow yourself to fall.

Fall on your knees.

Fall into fabulous.

It will all be okay.

 

Knees and Answers

“So when you’re on your knees and answers seem so far away
You’re not alone, stop holding on and just be held.”

In the song that inspired my book it says there are times we are on our knees and the answers seem so far away. There were MANY, and I mean MANY times I felt this whn I was fighting for custody of my children. I fought since the boys were little, 6/7 years old and I kept fighting until they were in their teen years. I kept crying out to Heavenly Father “Why? Why can’t I have them. I have a stable home, I make good money. My life is together. Why can’t this be? ” I kept throwing money at the problem thinking that would help. I kept searching and yearning for answers in the temporal world. Yet, still the answer in the courts was always “No” I would go back to prayer and cry out again “Why?”

The answers seemed so far away for me and I just couldn’t understand. All i wanted was to be held. To be held by someone, anyone, but even then, my spouse at the time, was not enough.

I came upon scripture after scripture to come to Heavenly Father with a Broken Heart and a Contrite Spirit and I poured myself unto him on my knees. I think at one time I was in prayer for about 3 hours. My knees were killing me and I ended up lying on the floor in a puddle of tears to a point of sobbing. You know that crying that you are barely breathing anymore? I felt defeated. I just couldn’t’ hold on anymore. I gave in. I let go.

I stopped holding on.

It was in that moment, I felt something like a blanket of love come over me.

I can’t explain anymore than to say, that in the moment I finally let go, I was held. It was as if Heavenly Father actually put his arms around me and held me in his embrace as if to say, “I’ve got you.”

When we let go and let God, things begin to move to shift.

Stop holding on and be held.

 

Loving Yourself is NOT a Slap in the Face: Loving Kindness Meditation The Trixie Way

Everyday I do a Loving Kindness meditation on Calm.com  The more I do this, the more I feel the abundance of love within myself, for others I know and for those I don’t.  I have shared this with friends, new acquaintances and even with those online. I have heard from many that they feel like when they do it (the meditation), it can seem like a slap in the face to them and that at first they don’t resonate with it. Then they feel stupid and dumb. Then they go through the beating-them-self-up phase. Of course, this is counterproductive, not the desired effect of feel loving kindness toward themselves and others.  So now what? Now what do they do?

Get out of your head. 

Now get back in your head.

Change your thinking to this…

I want you to focus on one simple thought.

Breathe.

Turn on http://www.calm.com or some other soothing music. I like to do the one with the bells or chimes to keep bringing me back to the moment, but put on something without words, something soothing and calming….

…………………………………………

I want you to focus simply on your breath. Breathing in ‘I know that I am breathing in’. Breathing out ‘I know that I am breathing out’. That’s it. That is all I want you to think about. Over and over and over. If you feel like you have that mastered, THEN and only then do we want to move on to Love.

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When I am breathing out love I like to move my hands with it. I move my hands almost as if dancing, like swaying movements inwards towards my body, like I am drinking it in when breathing in and when giving it out I am pouring it out of my body. You can just breathe it in or out; you do what comes natural to you. It is your exercise, it is all up to you.

Breathe love into the parts of your body you DO love. Do you love that weird quirky little toe of yours? Breathe love into it. Literally, take a deep breathe in and then, when you breathe out, breathe out all the air onto that weird quirky little toe. Do that over and over, even to the parts of your body you can’t see. Now, those parts you don’t like, breathe love to those too. Every part of you needs love.

Now, think about the people that you  love. Breathe in a good deep breath and then breathe out love to them. Breathe love to as many or as few people as you do or don’t want.

Now think about those people that you are having difficulties with or issues with. Breathe in a deep breath, and when you breathe out, breathe love to them too. Again, as little or as many people as you like.

Take your time, no rush.

Now, think about all beings. Breathe in love for all beings and then breathe out and pour out love to all beings. I like to open my arms out as wide as they can be, like when your mom used to ask you ” how much do you love me?” and you would open your arms really wide and say “THIS MUCH!” yesssss….that much…..

Then, when you are done with that, take a moment and do a couple of cleansing breaths…

Then slowly wiggle your toes, wiggle your fingers….and open your eyes…

When I am finished, I generally have tears in my eyes. I am so full of compassion and love for my fellow human being, my heart is so full it is like the Grinch story. It is as if my heart has grown ten times or more!

Opening your heart is NOT a slap in the face. Opening your heart to love, is scary, and THAT my friends  is the slap that scares you.

Do not let that win.

Do not allow the world to win.

YOU! ARE! FABULOUS!

You may have fallen. Maybe you are in the dirt now. There is nowhere to look but up. Take the rocks and build the bridge that will help you get across. Take the dirt and rain from the storms and make a home.  Your life is up to you. You get to choose the outcome.

Love yourself today, and every day. Stop slapping yourself. Start loving  yourself today. Start loving those you hate. Start loving all beings. Start seeing how different your life can and will be when you make this change towards loving kindness. Fall into Fabulous…what are you waiting for?

What Does Fabulous Mean To You?

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